It's been a really long time. It's been really hard. I miss you so much. Things have been better though, I'm sure you can see that, I'm trying really hard this time. I love you so much and I think about you all the time. Auntie and I were actually just talking about you today. Actually I talk about you a lot lately. Again, I'm sure you know but things are getting easier when it comes to that. I have so many fears about what I'm doing in life and if I’m doing them right and I always wish I could talk to you about them. This time of year is always really hard and I always miss you so much all the time, but lately I wish you could be here to see me getting better. And I’m sure you can where you are now but I mean really see me, and be here physically so I could actually hear you tell me you’re proud of me... and I’m sure that sounds selfish but that’s all I want lately. Thank you for always looking out for me, and protecting me. Every time I’ve done something dumb or dangerous in the past I could feel you with me and I’m so glad you were, because I don’t know what could’ve happened to me if you hadn’t been.  
Anyway I love you so very very very much. And I miss you more than anything.