My wedding date is approaching quite rapidly. And yet, I feel that a key part of our celebration is missing. Christy was always there. Always. She made an effort to be part of our lives. We are getting married at the Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas. The last time we were there, Christy was there. She was teasing Motog (a Klingon) about his "cute" gloves. We talked about our kids mostly, and how to handle some ex- husband issues. Although she was frustrated, she was still bright and cheery and made me glad I could spend a few hours with her. This was exactly a year ago.

Next weekend, AJ and I will get married there. And Christy won't be there. I am saddened and angry (amongst a multitude of emotions) that she won't be there. Her joyful presence would have made everything perfect. But she won't be there. I have her on my guest list, on my final count of people, still unable to fully grasp that she's not coming.

I have to find comfort in knowing that she would want this celebration to take place. In fact, I think she'd be a little pissed at me right now for dwelling on the fact that she's not there. I hope that as we remember her and share our stories, she will be there. She's in each of us, in everyone's lives that she touched. I miss you Christy.