Another year has passed and it is August 2006, your birthday month. Chelsea and Alyssa
were with Auntie Charity and Uncle Aaron for your birthday. They took the girls to
light a candle and pray for you.
I thought of you throughout the day and of sweet memories of the first few hours after
your birth of holding you and thinking of god?s miracle that was in my arms. I vowed
to be the best mother I could be and create memories for you to cherish for the rest
of your life. These memories were so important because I always thought that one day
dad and I would be gone and you would share those memories with your family as you
gazed at pictures of long ago. Nevertheless, that was not the way god planned our
lives. Instead, dad and I along with Dee and Aaron keep your memory alive with
stories of when you were a little girl and the silly things you would do and say. I
can?t yet bare to bring the pictures out of you as a little girl, but in time I will
share them with your girls.
Chelsea and Alyssa often ask if they look like you or do they do this or that like you
did. I often smile and laugh at them and assure them that you live deep in their
hearts because I can see you shining through so brightly. Chelsea has started to
cuddle close to me in the mornings when she climbs in bed and rubs her face against
me. She thinks of you and says, ?Nanny, you remind me of mommy?. It breaks my heart
because I want so badly for her to feel a mother?s love and no matter how much I love
her and hold her, it will never be as a mommy. Alyssa is still your little clown.
She loves to put on your Juniper Breeze lotion and ask over and over if she smells
like mommy. Some days she wants me to where your lotion too and other days it is just
for her. They are growing so fast and I want to cherish each minute with them.
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