So, the last I posted, I was pregnant with my little guy Kyan. What has become ever so ironic is that he was born January 2nd. He was born January 2nd, 2 weeks before my due date because I had some complications. He was in breech position for the last month and then my blood pressue shot up and so at my 'routine' appointment the doc informed me "we're taking him today." Hmm.. not the best circumstances but we arranged to do C-section that afternoon due to all of the scenarios and long story short.. healthy, happy little boy. He has changed our world of course, but we were in a good place to welcome the change in our lives. Very silly, but I have to believe perhaps Christy wanted me to have some joy in my life around the 3rd of January each year. I also want to believe that she was watching over me that day as so many things could've gone wrong and yet I have this amazing little boy. The fact that I got pregnant is a little bit of a miracle as well. I can't say that all of it is not bittersweet and EVERY time I have a mommy dilemma I lament she isn't here for advice and a chat! Dee wrote it so eloquently, she was always good for a listen and always had level-headed, honest advice. She was a great mom and even when she had doubts on what decisions to make - she still strived to make the right choice for her girls. Sometimes, that meant a sacrifice for her but she did it. I understand those choices fully now.

My heart will probably always ache (and I might always be angry) knowing that her mommy skills ended abruptly. I hope I'll be able to continue to impart more stories about her to her girls to help fill the void. Miss you Chelsea and Alyssa, perhaps we can see you sometime soon and you can meet my little guy :-)

Love, Katie (and Jim, Kyan - Cosmo and Twist too!)